Sisters Forever

Amber is "Ate" ( Tagalog word for older sister) and Ina is "Ading" (Ilocano term for younger sibling). Amber only started to realize that she doesn't have all our attention anymore when Ina started walking, she started to realize that everything must always be equally divided into two and that she must give way to her sister because she is younger. This for me is not an easy phase because they are still kids and even if you explain it to them a thousand times it will still take time and a lot of patience.


This young, they are showing signs of their personalities. Amber is your typical eldest child. She is showing signs of being domineering. Ina, on the other hand, is showing her sweetness with a brat-like attitude. Both are constantly fighting over my full attention, my "lay-lay" (lullaby dance), my piggy-back, my horsey-horsey, etc. When they don't fight, which happens twice or thrice out of the ten times that they play together, their sweetness usually lasts in like a minute or two then they are back to their not-so-cute selves. Nowadays, there are more shouting, pushing, hair-pulling, scratching and all those "little" dirty tricks. As a fulltime mom, I get to see most of these tricks with a worried, questioning and wondering look. Worried because I am thinking if I taught them wrongly that they resort to "violence" in expressing their feelings; questioning because I wanna know fast how to best deal with fighting toddlers, the toddler way; and wondering if my sister and I used to fight this way when we were toddlers. But of course, our mother cannot answer me because she has always been a working mom and she didn't have the "luxury" of always watching us go through all those childish acts/antics. I, on the other hand, can still remind my girls that hurting each other is not nice and that they should treat each other "lovingly,"...... if only these words don't go into deaf ears. But, when they do "volt in," I become the odd girl out. Ina is becoming an avid fan of her Ate that she imitates, follows and can even be pacified by her Ate with just a hug. For now, I just have to keep on reminding them that they should always look after each other. I may sometimes get frustated when I always have to remind them of this but they are still kids afterall.


I have 3 siblings. I can't say we're really close but I have to believe that they look up at me being the eldest and more "sane" among us. My brothers until now I still don't get. My sister is another story. Liezl and I were not that close when we were younger maybe because of the age gap or just maybe because we have different personalities. For so long, I thought my sister was different from me. In a way, I still think she is. But motherhood must have made her mellow down from her usual defiant self or, was it me that motherhood had tamed? I don't actually remember us literally hurting each other when we were little but I also don't exactly remember us being openly close to each other. She was your typical outgoing, outspoken, party-like girl while I was your typical "Manang" who'd rather stay at home and watch tv. We just don't like the same things, well, almost. But, now that we're both married, with kids and more matured (I believe), we appreciate each other more. Having gone through the same situation of having babies away from our Mama and all the other convenience and comfort of Home, we somehow understand each other more now. We can cry, laugh and talk about anything now thru chatting or thru the phone. I love my sister, more than she knows. I love all my siblings, more than they know. I might be harsh sometimes or just too frank but beneath all those scoldings and do-not-care attitude, I really do care and worry about them. Having a sister is something special because there will always be a special connection.


My girls now are like us, Liezl and I. Despite the bickering, shouting, crying, "violence" and differences, we still find something that binds us. Something that friends cannot give or even our husbands cannot understand. Ates take care of their Adings and Adings will always, always look up at their Ates. We are girls, we are mothers, we will always be Sisters..... forever.F

The Hair Issue

One of Amber's teachers told me a funny story about her after school today. According to her, while they were all seated listening to one of their teachers, Amber who was seated behind one of her classmates was doing something amusing. They noticed her seriously looking at the head of her boy classmate who recently shaved his hair leaving him almost hairless or in Amber's term "bald." This boy happens to be one of Amber's favorite classmates and they found it really funny when they saw her pointing at his head as if wanting to touch what was left of his hair. Amber is known to be a shy girl in school so something like this is totally unexpected of her.

Amber's fascination of bald people is something not new to us. Whenever she sees a man without hair or what's left of it, she calls it "bald." The funny "incident" above wasn't her first time too. One time when we went to the mall, we saw a middle-aged man walking a few meters ahead of us when she noticed him then she turned to me in her normal voice and said, " Nanay, why is the man bald?" Of course, I was surprised and a little embarrased because the man might have heard her but if he did, he didn't show it and just walked normally as if not hearing anything. Funny or not, I still had to tell her that it's not right to embarass or tell something like that out loud because she might hurt someone's feelings.

My daughters' curiosity with hair might have started from seeing their Tatay having hair in his chin or between his nose and lips. It must have also started when they saw him taking pictures of his "vanishing" hair one day to check how serious the depletion was. Or, from my waxing session at Laybare where I take them (Yes, my two little girls!) with me. It's one of those starting-it-early bonding time to a waxing salon and mind you, they enjoy it. They join me inside the cubicle while the waxing lady does her job of yanking my underarm hair which they're getting used to seeing. The first time they joined me, Amber asked me why there's hair in my armpit and when I told her all grown-ups have it she tells me she doesn't want to have hair in her armpit,too. Ina, on the other hand is still scared of the waxing lady that she thinks she's scarier than the waxing itself. Their closest personal encounter with the hair issue started when they had their first haircut and those were pleasant ones with Dora and Barney entertaining them while sitting on a spaceship and a car with no pain involved.

What's with the hair anyway? We adults take our hair seriously. Please note that when I talk of hair, I'm talking of the ones on our head, armpit, face and legs only. We groom it, we make it grow "gracefully," we get rid of the unwanted, the unruly and the unpleasant. For those with the lack of it, we try to salvage whatever's left of it. Kids, on the other hand, ask questions on the lack of it, the places where they "sprout" unwantedly and the things we do to take care of it. They also blurt remarks that are too frank or sometimes insulting but can get away with it just because they are too cute or too young. For now, I'll just leave these hair issues behind.

A Daily School Routine

It is one of those regular school days for my 3-year old Amber. Her Busy Bunnies class starts at 10:45 am. She was back to her usual looking-forward-to-an-enjoyable-school mood today unlike yesterday when she was screaming her heart out in telling me that she's not going to school.

Our daily routine in going to school is to take a cab that will take us to a short 5-minute ride to Toddlers Unlimited at Leviste St. from our abode at Malugay St., get off at Alpap 1 building then take the elevator to the 7th floor where the school is located. I bring her to the green room and after saying "I love you" to each other, I sit and wait for her at the couch in the waiting area for two hours.

For the next two hours, you may see me browsing at the magazines located at one of the shelves for all the mothers, aunties, yayas, lolas doing the same thing everyday for their little ones. I learned alot of things about the uniqueness of every child, mother and yaya that I've talked too and it is one of those times that I get to enjoy waiting because in return I learn something about life and living.

Thank God for Starbucks! If I feel sleepy or bored, I reward myself with an iced tea or hot chocolate with bagel and if I'm lucky I get to go with one of my mom-friends which for me is the start of worthy talks and discussions about child-rearing, wellness, "future" schools for our kids and almost any topic under the sun. This is fun for me because you get ideas, learn new things about something that you're not used to and somehow builds your confidence and self-esteem and gives you encouragement when you have something new you want to try and just don't have the guts to do so.

Anyway, today I changed my routine, I walked home to check on my one-year old daughter Ina who was left with a helper. I got 1 1/2 hours of spare time to be with her before I go back to Amber's school. I was able to bathe her and see her eat lunch and still have time to give her plenty of kisses before her Ate Amber comes home. Don't get me wrong but this is the only time that she gets to have my undivided attention and she loves it.

At 1:00 pm, I was back to fetch Amber. They were at the Romp Area for playtime and of course it was full of giggling, shrieking, running for the next 15 minutes of unadulterated fun. This time always ends with a goodbye song and they're off to get their chosen colored stamps to end their school day.

The walk to our house takes us 5-10 minutes depends on the number of dog poops that we have to "avoid" while walking on the sidewalk. The walk is something Amber enjoys despite the heat but the poop is another thing. She hates it. She doesn't understand why there are poops everywhere. She knows that sidewalks are for people not dog toilet. After much debate on why dogs poop anywhere, where to walk and if Tatay can just carry her so she won't step on the poop, we're finally home.

Another day in school learning and one more school day to look forward to..... for the week.